Friends?! How many of us have them?
Sometimes you need to take a step away and assess the word "friend" and who you consider who is a friend or have you been a good friend.
Husky Jefe
6/27/20265 min read
So, let's start with the classic Whodini song, which says, “Friends! How many of us have them? Friends?! The ones we can depend on! Friends!” You know that song, right? It's like a hit. I know in the movie ‘Friday After Next,’ or was it ‘Next Friday’, when they were captured or whatever, they were singing that particular song. How many of us have them?
Like, have you ever sat and thought, 'What is the true definition of a friend?'
I had to ask my ‘Friend’ Merriam about it. I used to ask Jeeves, but he’s no longer with us. According to Merriam-Webster, definition 1. a- is one attached to another by affection or esteem. 1.b. is an acquaintance. 2.a. A friend is one who is not hostile. 2. b one of the same nation, party, or group. Lastly, number three, well, keep reading.
But what truly is a friend? I pose that question because growing up, I didn't know. I can’t speak for the Caucasian American household, but in my African American household, I was told on numerous occasions that “Everyone is not your friend”! I must honestly give my parents their credit because they were correct. Everyone is not your friend. See, I define a friend as somebody who's there for you. Yes, y'all can share some of the same common interests, but remember, I said some of the same things. You and your friend won’t agree on everything, which is totally fine. But yes, a friend is someone who's genuinely there for you, who's genuinely happy for you, and not carrying an underlying hate for you. Envy can be a B**CH!
So, moving forward, is there really such a thing as a good friend versus a bad friend? I asked that because I think a bad friend isn't necessarily a friend at all. A bad friend, according to societal standards and classifications, is someone who always brings trouble into your friendship dynamic. A bad friend is comfortable with not being there for you in your times of need. Be very judgmental of YOU. Think about it for a second. That's not a friend. That's someone who wants to see you hurting, nonetheless. So, is there such a thing as a bad friend? No!
There is no such thing as a bad friend, but there are levels to friendship. You can be an average friend. You know someone whom you speak to very rarely. You don't really keep up with them, but you don't wish them any ill will. That person is pretty average. Don't show up to too many life events or even hit you up in times of despair or certain situations. That's just an average friend. You still love them, but they're average.
Then you have those good friends, those above-and-beyond friends. The friends who are going to call and check on you every now and then. Those friends who text, dm, or use any other communication medium they choose to tell you, ‘Hey, keep going, brother or sister,’ or ‘Hey, is there anything I can do to help?’ There are good friends like that, and personally, I've been blessed with some pretty good friends. Those types of good friends eventually go past the friend stage and evolve into family, and once you reach that family stage, then you’re the elite!
Who is Joshua, as a friend? How is Husky Jefe, as a friend? Honestly, I think I'm a good friend to a lot of people. I'm a good friend to a great deal of people. Have I always been Mr. Friendly? No, I think I've often fallen short as a good friend because I didn't communicate well. I didn't call. I didn't keep in touch with some friends in the past, but when I think about them, I try to reach out. Sometimes I think people carry friendship torches. You haven’t reached out in all this time, so why should I let you back in, or why should we rekindle our friendship? Because sometimes the flame just goes out in a friendship. Sometimes you just grow in a different direction. You go off to school, or you just go your separate ways, but there’s no ill-will, at least on my end. It's just been some time and distance between us. I'm not one of those people who end a lot of situations on bad notes. So, to the long-lost friends who may be reading this, Josh still loves you. I'm a lifelong friend.
Now, let me go back into my memory bank and recall who my first friend actually was. That's a very tough recall because what age would I say I met mine? My first friend (so cliché answer or popular answer) would be my mom. My ‘parent(s)’ were my first friends. That's inaccurate, because I remember my mother always saying, in my older years, ‘I ain’t your friend,’ which means she couldn't have been my first friend. Now, I would put my cousin in the front running, but that's family, you know. As far as I can remember, because I remember this picture that my mom always had from my preschool graduation, it was this one kid– can't remember his name– a light-skinned black kid. But was that my homie? Now, part of the definition that we defined earlier in this blog post states that one of the same nations, etc. What did we share in common? He was chubby, and I was chubby, so two chubby guys were what we had in common. But I will leave that just there as a joke because I really don't remember why we became friends, but he was cool, nonetheless.
After knowing how good a friend I consider myself to be, how many friends do I have in total? Deeper Question: How many friends do I talk to regularly? Well, if I can count it, it's probably no more than five, but I still think that's skewed because, as I said, friends can evolve, and I consider most of my friends, family, Brothers, sisters, play cousins. Take a second, while we’re engaged in this conversation piece, and imagine a world where you didn't have friends. That World would be very lonely. Anywho, before I get out of here and off of this blog post, people say that your person you're in a relationship with or spouse aren’t necessarily your friend. Weird, I know, but I have heard the arguments. The person who you decided to hypothetically, spend the rest of your life with ain't one of your friends or a friend or a good friend or an evolved friend. Yes, you might want to set them free and set yourself free, weirdo.
FRIENDS! How many of them do you have? You might want to take an inventory of your friends' list. Remember, there's no such thing as a bad friend. A bad friend is not a friend at all. That's just food for thought.