Showing Up Matters
No one wants to be the child that's alone after practice waiting on their parent to just 'SHOW UP'.... People need to see your support, hear your support. Your show up energy goes along way. Let's talk about!
Husky Jefe
9/23/20266 min read
We’re going to kick this blog off today and get this ‘road on the how’. Nobody wants to be the child in the school play with no one in the stands or even the forgotten child after sport practice waiting on your mom or dad who never showed up for you.
So, let's talk about the questions for this blog post.
It’s about showing up for people. How have you shown up for people? How have you shown up for yourself? Let’s go even deeper: what does ‘showing up’ look like? I'm the only homie talking today and just to keep it real, raw and honest, on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the best most supportive, I rank myself at about a five. A five is not necessarily bad or necessarily good either, but I've been hurt so many times I don't know what to believe.
I've shown up for people and like I stated in the previous blog about friends, but in some instances of me showing up or needing to, I didn't necessarily know how to do that wholeheartedly.
I would do it (SHOW UP), then it would be weird in my mind. I'll start thinking to myself I'm being a little bit weird or something just showing up for these people, and in some cases, I never got the support in return, which left me in a misunderstanding whirlwind of showing up. I didn’t know the essential of who to show up for, how to show up for them, when to show up for them, where to show up at for them… You get the jist. So, yes, I rate myself at all time high of five. I've been there, but I've dropped the ball a lot. I'm just being as honest and transparent as can be right.
Now, here's the thing about showing up for people and being shown up for and supported by others: It’s A Two-Way Street. I really and wholeheartedly feel that it's a two-way street. I can't show up for you and you not show up for me. That makes all the sense, right? I know it makes sense. So, if you call yourself the homie and we have this mutual respect of friendship, it can't be one sided. I can't just keep coming to events, programs, giving you a call and supporting you on many levels, but when I need to be supported or it would be beneficial for you to support me you're nowhere to be found.
Let’s clarify the word of support real quick. I'm saying support in the terms of your presence, your words, your time, your energy. I'm not saying monetarily, because I think that form of support can get very skewed and distorted. “If you don't support me monetarily then you're not my friend or you're not being fair.” Sure, if you’re capable and have assessed the situation then sure help, but no one has to support you monetarily, because you’re a poor manager of funds. Also, if you’re in need or asking for monetary help, you have to be open and honest. That’s how I operate. See Monetary support can be a whole blog in itself. So, let's take the money aspect out of ‘showing up’ in this blog all together. Get the picture and let’s proceed forward.
Nevertheless, you won't be at everything and you won't support everything that I have going on or nor can I support everything that you have going on but there are certain events you just got to be there for.
What are some of those events, im referring to?
Weddings
Funerals of close loved ones: like parents, children, etc.
Baby shower: but that can get a little iffy
Bar mitzvahs***
Quincieras***
As it pertains to weddings, let's specify a little bit now. If it's one of those destination weddings, and you know your friends or your homies ain't got the funds and stuff like that then maybe they can't make it. So, we can't hold it to them. Now funerals of close loved ones, and I'm really talking about parents, grandparents, siblings, or whoever else qualifies (those really tight/close relationships) that you know is probably going to affect your homie, if they lose them is warranted of you showing up.
I put baby shower in there, but baby showers can be iffy. Make sure you send a gift, but nevertheless, if you can't be there, please show up for them by communicating it to them. Don't leave them high and dry! Don't promise them anything! If it's work for the reasoning, I'm a firm believer that work can wait dude. It really can, and if you properly plan you can make any event. Don’t make excuses as to why you couldn’t be there. You didn't want to be there, let's be honest because you made your choice to do something else that was more entertaining to you. You're an asshole for the record and maybe not a homie, at the moment but you're an asshole for sure.
Let me shine the light on this next point. It's very beautiful if you can do it!
Showing up as a surprise, like it's no reason, but you just showed up and took the unwarranted initiative to show up for your homie. That’s more MAGICAL than the School Bus. You just took the homie some food, you call the homie out the blue and said ‘Hey, I was thinking about you. Let's rap a little bit.’ Let me send you some money for dinner. Showing up unexpectedly is beautiful, because we all go through a lot of things on the day-to-day, and often times, we don't talk about it or we're not able to talk about it and communicate it to some of the people that we love, so we tend to hold on to certain negative feelings. Those negative feelings start to fester and we start to get into our head and moods. Then, next thing you know, we’re teed off, pissed off, and now we're going into this deep, dark abyss of negative emotions, and we swim in it.
All along, the only thing we needed is that surprise show up or all your homie needed is a surprise show up from you. I have to give women their credit too. They are very good at showing up by surprise, but I have some male homies who are good too.
All in all, the most important thing before we close out this blog post and get out of here, I need you to know the most point to know about this whole idea of showing up: Before you can show up for anybody and anybody can show up for you, you have to be able to show up for yourself. Take care of yourself and take care of your own mental health. It’s pertinent to make sure you’re taking those breaks you need from work, life, all the ebbs and flows of life and communicating when you need to take a step away. Make sure you’re communicating when something's going wrong with you. You can't become a dumpster for everybody else’s emotions and situations without knowing how to hold on and control your current emotions and situations.
Go get a massage.
Wake up and don't drink the coffee. Drink some tea.
Take a walk.
Just decompress.
You have to show up for yourself too. You can't be a slouch and your house is in shambles, but you’re telling people as a “LIFE Coach” or listening ear that ‘I'm trying to help you with life’. If you’re not doing well, you’re just putting on a facade, and it’ll eventually backfire or come out that you are struggling to hold on.
Showing up is a two-way street. Don't be selfish. Don't be an asshole. Don't think the world revolves around you. If they show up for you, then you have to show up for them. Sometimes you may have to make the first move, let me be clear on that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I think I'm going to take my showing up meter and improve my rating from a 5 and take it to a 10. Be Better!